Devoted, alert, and thankful

Colossians 4:1 (NET) Be devoted to prayer, keeping alert in it with thanksgiving.

My prayer life has grown by leaps and bounds over the last 18 months (mostly due to my accountability with other men to make it a priority), but am I devoted to it yet? I value prayer now more than I ever have, but I often find myself thinking, "I don't want to 'pray', I want to 'do'!" But I forget that praying is doing, and doing without praying is really just spinning my wheels.

My attitudes about prayer will shape how I pray. The verse above speaks of "keeping alert in it." If I truly believe that God is there, that he is listening, and that he will act, then I will be alert to the needs around me. I will be careful to look for the things in my life, my family, and my friends that need prayer. Of course how and when God answers is His business, but He has asked that I pray, so I will. Sometimes I wonder if prayer is designed more for our sake than for God's. I am certainly honoring God, and recognizing who He is when I pray, but prayer also changes me. It makes me more sensitive to the needs of others, more aware of what God is doing around me, and (this is important) more dependent on Him and less dependent on myself.

Of course prayer can degenerate into a "wish list" filled with requests. This verse (like Philippians 4:6-7) addresses this by pointing out that all of my prayer should be filled with thanksgiving. I was recently struck by the thought that every breath I take in is a gift from God. We should never be short of things to thank God for, yet if you ask anyone for a list of 10 things they are thankful for, they will start to have difficulty coming up with something. I need to give up my sense of 'entitlement' and recognize how God has richly blessed me. This turns my prayer outward, away from myself and toward God and others.

Starting up (again)...

In my on again, off again attempts at blogging, I am on again (at least for today). While I doubt there are many out there who are reading (hi Jeff!?), it still seems a worthwhile thing to sit down and write out some thoughts from time to time.

So here we go...

The Need for Leaders

I was recently reading the qualifications for church leaders in 1 Timothy and Titus. Here are the passages:

1 Timothy 3:2-13 (NIV) Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of GodÂ’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devilÂ’s trap. Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere, not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain. They must keep hold of the deep truths of the faith with a clear conscience. They must first be tested; and then if there is nothing against them, let them serve as deacons. In the same way, their wives are to be women worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything. A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well. Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus.

Titus 1:6-9 (NIV) An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.

What is interestingting about the lists is the focus on character, not special skills or gifts (with the possible exception of teaching). This leads me to wonder why this list was specifically called out for church leaders. Why does this list not apply to everyone?

The fact is that the list does apply to every Christian. These are standards to which all of us should aspire, including teaching (to some extent). The fact is, we should all be leaders. Perhaps not church leaders, but we should be leaders in our families, in our workplaces, and to an extent among our friends.

So why are these things listed for elders and deacons specifically? It is because a church leader should have achieved these goals of character and skill. No human is perfect, and we all must continually grow, but leaders are men and women who, by God's grace, have reached a point where they exemplify these characteristicstics. These things allow them to lead, both by example and by teaching. These things should stand out in a leader's life so that those who follow can be inspired and directed to achieve these things themselves!

And as we follow, as we grow in these things, we too should lead. We will quietly set an example in our lives that will glorify God and turn the hearts and minds of unbelievers towards Him. In our families, this will be (or should be), an active leadership. In our workplaces and relationships, it will be more passive, but it should occur none the less.

So as we read these passages, regardless of whether we are, or ever will be, church leaders, we should aspire to achieve these character qualities. God will use those who are willing and able to lead. He just needs to find those who are willing, those who can humbly accept his discipline and direction and can be servants.

Those who wish to lead out of pride or a sense of self-sufficiency will fail because God opposes the proud. But I think the bigger problem is not pride, but apathy. We suffer from a lack of vision for our lives, for our families, and for our churches. We are not "tuned in" to the reality of the world that God has created around us and the plan of salvation that God has laid out in his word and that he is carrying out right now in history. We don't fully comprehend the richness and power of God's grace. Because of this we let our lives slip away, we surrender our families to the deceptions of the world, and we let our churches become ineffective and irrelevant.

I am trying to step up to this call of leadership in whatever form God wants that to take in my life. It is difficult and it requires perseverance, but I am confident that God will be there for me. My prayer is that all Christians will step up to this challenge, that God get our attention some how, and that we, as His body, will respond.

Screwtape Letter XXII: "He's a hedonist at heart"

This letter is (in my opinion) the funniest in the book and the pinnacle of the whole thing. Screwtape's utter revulsion at Wormwood's 'patient's' relationship with a woman, and the language it evokes is hilarious (especially when read by John Cleese in the audiobook). The whole chapter is classic, but the main point is this:

He's [God] a hedonist at heart. All those facts and vigils and stakes and crosses are only a facade. Or only like foam on the seashore. Out at sea, out in His sea, there is pleasure, and more pleasure. He makes no secret of it; at His right hand are "pleasures for evermore." Ugh! I don't think He has the least inkling of that high and austere to which we rise in the Miserific Vision. He's vulgar Wormwood. He has a bourgeois mind. He has filled His world full of pleasures. There are things for humans to do all day long without His minding in the least - sleeping, washing, eating, drinking, making love, playing, praying, working. Everything has to be twisted before it's any use to us. We fight under cruel disadvantages. Nothing is naturally on our side.

The freedom of understanding this about God is amazing! He wants our pleasure just as we want our children to be pleased and happy. The sadness in this is how easily we accept the twisted things that Screwtape mentions and we ourselves help in the twisting.

But despite the twisting, God is there and his untwisted pleasures remain. A walk on a cool spring morning, the companionship of a lover unburdened by guilt or secrets, the smile of a child, the beauty of a song with pure intentions. It is in the middle of those things that I want to exist. When that happens I see God as He really is and I see what he intends for me and my life. And in the meantime we leave the likes of Screwtape furious and frothing at the mouth, powerless to separate us from our God!

Screwtape Letter IV: Prayer

C.S. Lewis has always been one of my favorite authors, and I enjoy everything of his that I've read, but as I re-read "The Screwtape Letters" again, I am reminded of how much I appreciate this particular book. A book like "Mere Christianity" is a classic, but I actually think the unique perspective of Screwtape is actually even more effective in communicating concepts about God, sin, the world, and how we percieve all of this. There is something about looking at things from the perspective of a demon (Screwtape) giving instruction to a subordinate demon (Wormwood) in how to tempt, distract, and otherwise turn a human from God that speaks more clearly to the real problems and perceptions of we humans.

As I was reading this morning, I decided sharing some of my favorite passages from Screwtape, starting with this one on prayer. As always, remember the perspective that this comes from (and the lies that such a perspective can bring).

The best thing, where it is possible, is to keep the patient from the serious intention of praying altogether. When the patient is an adult recently reconverted to the Enemy's party, like your man, this is best done by encouraging him to remember, or to think he remembers, the parrot-like nature of his prayers in childhood. In reaction against that, he may be persuaded to aim at something entirely spontaneous, inward, informal, and unregularised; and what this will actually mean to a beginner will be an effort to produce in himself a vaguley devotional mood in which real concentration of will and intelligence have no part. One of their poets, Coleridge, has recorded that he did not pray "with moving lips and bended knees" but merely "composed his spirit to love" and indulged "a sense of supplication." That is exactly the sort of prayer we want; and since it bears superficial resemblance to the prayer of silence as practised by those who are very far advanced in the Enemy's service, clever and lazy patients can be taken in by it for quite a long time. At the very least, they can be persuaded that the bodily position makes no difference to their prayers; for they constantly forget, what you must always remember, that they are animals and that whatever their bodies do affects their souls. It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out.

It is hard to believe that Lewis wrote these 'letters' during World War II. Half a century has passed, and things are very much the same. The concept that prayer might require actual kneeling, actual words, and even actual time set aside to do it continues to be met with high sounding arguments that such prayer is not 'spiritual' enough. As Lewis points out (both in this quote and elsewhere), that leaves us to make prayer into anything we want it to be at anytime we want it (of course, only when the Spirit moves). As we do with God Himself, we make prayer into what we want it to be to fit conveniently into our lives rather than finding the truth of what it is and making our lives conform to that. Unfortunately this often means we drift into doing nothing at all, and Screwtape and his kind have succeded by simply "keeping things out."

GTD, Anxiety, and Faith

There was a time when I could stay on top of all the things I needed to do and I was generally pretty faithful at doing what I said I was going to do. But I've recently found that as my responsibilities increase (and diversify) and my mental capacity decreases (as you get older, your memory is the second thing to go, I can't remember the first), I tend to 'drop' things more often. I don't know how many times I have recently seen someone I know and I immediately remember something I was supposed to do for them.

This creates two problems. The first is that I am no longer being faithful with my responsibilities and I'm letting people down. The second is that I start to get anxious about all I have to do and what I'm forgetting to do.

A few months ago, in the process of Googling something completely unrelated, I came across some references to David Allen's Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity (commonly referred to on the web as GTD). When I came across it again (during another Google search), I decided to order the book and I am currently in the process of implementing these ideas in my life. It is very early in my 'experimentation', but I like what I see so far. The goal of GTD is to get all the things you need to do out of your head and into a 'system' (on paper or electronically), relieving that anxiety I have been experiencing.

As I have been thinking about this, it has dawned on me that there are two kinds of anxiety. The first type is anxiety about things you can control. This is the type of anxiety I'm trying to relieve by using this system, and I think that this is an appropriate response. That anxiety is created because I know that I am not doing things I should be. If I were not meeting my responsibilities and that fact was not creating anxiety in me, I'd just be irresponsible.

The other kind of anxiety is about the things you can't control. It's worrying about all the "what if's" in the world. What if I lose my job? What if my spouse gets very sick or even dies? What if bird flu really does become a pandemic?! ! To a certain extent, these things are good to think about. There are some things you can do to prepare for the "what if's" in your life. But at some point we know that we can't protect ourselves from all of the bad things that could happen. No matter how much money we save, how much insurance we take out, or how much food we stockpile (if you're into that kind of thing), there is some point at which potential future problems could be bigger than we can handle.

At some point, a believer has to trust that God it truly in control and that he is faithful in his promises. We've got to trust God in all that we do, however small it is. We have some responsibility in all of this to protect our families and prepare ourselves for various things, but that is done within the framework of entrusting our very lives to God, giving up our independence and self-reliance.

My "little picture" anxiety about my day to day responsibilities can probably be relieved with a system like GTD. My "big picture" anxiety can only be relieved by faith in my God.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV) ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

drop-dead

As I wrote the previous post I've had one of those rare times when I have a couple of hours at home on my own, allowing me the treat of being able to turn up my music as loud as I want!

I just listened to (twice) The Violet Burning's new CD drop-dead. It didn't grab me like I expected when I first got it, but it is rapidly growing on me, espescially when listened to at high volume! My two faovorite tracks are 'more' and 'one thousand years'. If you read my previous post and now think I'm a leagalistic Pharisee, read these lyrics and recognize that I too enjoy large doses of grace:

More
I never wanted more than the beauty of your kiss.
Somehow I get lost in the sound of this singing.
But, you're beautiful tonight, in your ultraviolet light.
Kiss me softly and sing to me. I'd give anything...
I never wanted more. Show me how to do it, help me find a way.
I've got nothing left to live for.
No one else is staying, but you, always you.
There is only you.

Michael Pritzl

One Thousand Years
I've gone down from the mountains looking for a cure.
I came across the desert, here to your front door.
Rolling with the punches, falling beneath the blows,
Fighting through most anything tearing up my soul. I wanna run.

I wanna run, I wanna fall into your arms.
So, lay my head down, I wanna wake, there in your arms.
I needed to forgive you. I needed to throw it down.
Into the depths of the sea that forgets these things,
beneath the walls of sound that sing for all us sinners, and sing for all our lives.
Wrap this song around our hearts, may it bind us tight.
Now, I can barely remember just what we started for.
But, I found some grace there in your arms,
I'm coming back for more, I’m gonna run.

I wanna run, I wanna fall into your arms.
So, lay my head down, I wanna wake, there in your arms.
I long to view forever through the twinkling of an eye.
I long to find a song of hope and lay down by your side.
A song for all the weeping, a song for all the tears.
I'll sing for you to carry me, I'll sing One Thousand Years, I wanna run.

I wanna run, I wanna fall into your arms.
So, lay my head down, I wanna wake there, in your arms.
Yeah, you're my heart, you're my home
Yeah, you're my heart, you're my home
Yeah, you're my heart, you're my home
Yeah, you're my heart, you're my home

Michael Pritzl

But the lyrics alone don't do the songs justice. Listen here.

The Freedom of Obedience

In a previous post, I alluded to the fact that my relationship with God is finally starting to feel like what it should be for the first time in my Christian life. It seems like I should be telling every believer I know what it is that has turned things around for me, but I am reluctant to because I fear their reaction. It seems odd that I should fear this reaction, after all doesn't every believer seek a deeper relationship with our God? Let's find out...

The secret for me has been an accountability program.

"Accountability!? ... Program?! ... Leagalism!!" is the response I fear.

This is an understandable response, and one I probably would have shared prior to about 9 months ago. We tend to be geared more for leagalism than for grace. Leagalism is tangible, do A and expect B, cause and effect. Because of that when we finally 'get' (understand, comprehend) grace, we (rightfully) defend it for all it is worth, but in doing so we often lose hold of the fact that we are also called to obey as well. Jesus Himself said it:

Matthew 28:19-20 (NIV) ¹⁹ "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."”

In a recent conversation a friend pointed out this verse:

Romans 1:5 (NIV) ⁵ Through him and for his name'’s sake, we received grace and apostleship to call people from among all the Gentiles to the obedience that comes from faith.

Which led me to this:

1 Peter 1:2 (NIV) ² who have been chosen according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance.

That last one is a good one, we are called to obedience to Jesus Christ and yet we can get there only through the grace of God! It is because of grace that we are able to obey!

So back to the accountability program. I have nodded my head in agreement to countless speakers who have shared with me our need to be in God's word and to be in prayer. I mean, it seems fairly obvious that all believers should not only pursue these 'habits', we should desperately desire them! But my flesh wants something else, so despite all my head nodding, my choices in this area lined up 99% of the time with my flesh and not with my soul's desire to know my God.

Last June at a conference I was listening to another speaker talk on this, and I was nodding my head again, but this time something was different (maybe my flesh was off at the resort's water park, having a good time) and it clicked. To me it came down to this, if I really, really believe (see the previous post on faith), I would be doing these things. How can I live this life without being in constant contact with the only One who knows what is best for me?

Since that time, with the help of three friends who wanted the same thing, I have begun to develop the type of conversation with God I have always desired.

Without a doubt, there are dangers. The danger of leagalism is there, the danger of pride is there, the danger of discouragement (if I fail to meet my commitments). But these are all dangers of the flesh, to be controlled and destroyed, not by my willpower but by the power of God's grace. There are times when I am simply "checking off boxes" but these times come less often than I thought, and since the sheer volume of my time with God has increased, the good times with Him have increased as well (it's like time with your kids, 'quality' time comes out of 'quantity' time).

So now I'm excited to see where God takes me, and where he takes our church as we have opened up a variation on this program to the entire congregation. The response so far has been better than I ever expected!

A pastor over at our sister church in Fort Collins, Mitch Majeski, puts this all much better than I can in his recent post on the subject. I'm in the a similar place, but without all the running!

What do I know?

     There have been a number of things swirling around in my head lately that I’ve been trying to get a grasp on.  Every one of them has caused me to think “I should write a blog entry about that” but that hasn’t happened, because each of these ‘things’ has been a bit slippery and hard firmly grasp mentally, let alone write about.

     There has been a book about ‘spirituality’ that has at times left me thinking “Huh?” and at other times has given me the peaceful feeling you get when you come across Truth expressed in an understandable way.  There has been a book that speaks of a new revolution, a revolution where the author suggests that people will take hold of core values that would be radical and life-transforming (yes!), but also where the author suggest that these revolutionaries should leave the local church behind (no!).  There have been recent CD purchases filled with music that has challenged and inspired.  And there has been the usual mosaic of people in my life (directly or indirectly) whose experiences and choices have left me with an array of emotions ranging from joy to despair.

     In the middle of this swirl has also been a relationship with God that perhaps for the first time has really begun to flourish (the reasons behind that would probably be a good subject for another post).  There has been a slow transformation over the last few years in my life as God has drawn me closer to Himself, but the last half of a year has truly been a watershed (there’s a word I don’t use often) period in my life with Him.

     The swirl in my head still exists, and I am often a bit confused by it all.  But in the middle of the swirl is an anchor point that I hang onto for all I’m worth.  It is one word with a lot behind it: Faith.  I know that sounds a bit trite.  It’s like the default answer of “Jesus” in Sunday school.  

     But Faith is a deep word, deeper than ‘belief’.  To me ‘belief’ implies something I might hold to given the facts I have now, but I am willing to let go of if necessary.  Faith implies belief to the level of complete trust, it is what I know.  What do I really, really know, deep down in the core of who I am?  What do I believe enough to allow it to direct my life?

     We Christians speak a lot of faith.  We have our statements of faith.  We are justified before God by faith alone.  Often though (very often), it seems that we mean the more ‘shallow’ word ‘believe’.  We ‘believe’ it at a surface level, but our choices betray our ‘true’ faith, what it is that we really trust in.  

     So a book about spirituality touches me because it confirms from an ‘external’ source what I have been seeing happen as God works in my life through His Word and through prayer.  A book about a revolution that involves leaving the local church behind at first unsettles me, but then I find a peace about it because I have faith in God’s universal Church and in the local church as will even though it is very flawed and is often directed by man’s agenda rather than God’s.  Music lyrics that challenge me I see confirmed (in part) in God’s word, and those same lyrics are transformed into an inspiration.  And the lives of people around me continue to twist and turn on the unpredictable path that is life in this word, but I have confidence that God is at work in all of them (God sometimes calling me to be a part of that work, sometimes telling me, “why don’t you step back for a while and let me work this out”).

     In the middle of all of this God whispers, “Be still, and know I am God.”

     Faith.